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Do you want to get an idea of whether a woman you’re talking to is attracted to you? Many guys pay too much attention to body language. They will think that if a woman is holding her arms one way or another it means a certain thing. Too many guys will constantly LOOK for body language clues, but they don’t lead with their own body and their own body language. You have to lead with your body. Let’s say, for instance, that you’re out on a date with a woman and two of you are talking across a restaurant table. If you lean back in your chair, she’s going to lean back into hers. People (including women) will usually mimic each other’s body language. This obviously begs the question: So how do you tell the difference between when a woman is just mimicking your body language and when she’s genuinely interested in you? You want to be the leader in the body language game. You want to be the guy that gets her to do what you are doing. What I’ll sometimes do on a date is mix it up. I’ll lean back in my chair, and then when she says something particularly interesting, I’ll lean forward. I’ll get her to follow me. If she’s interested in me, she’ll also lean forward toward me. Another thing that I will do is put my hands on the table as I’m leaning forward. I’ll then watch to see if she puts her hands up there too. Sometimes she’ll move her hands closer to my hands so that the center of the table is literally the dividing line between our almost touching fingers. If she leans forward and her hands are almost touching mine, then I will move back and pull away. Why? It has to do with teasing. Life is all about teasing. So then I’ll lean back, and I’ll see what she does next. If she leans back too, then I know that she’s following my lead and mimicking me. I’m leading and she’s following … and that’s what you want! Maybe five or six minutes later, I’ll do the same thing and lean forward towards her. This time I will put my hands over the dividing line and I’ll see how close she’ll move her hands to mine. She might put her hands over the dividing line as well, onto my side of the table. This means that we’ve broken each other’s personal space boundaries. These are some of the little clues that you can read into when it comes down to body language. You want to play with it a little bit. Don’t worry if she folds her arms. If she folds her arms, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything bad. She might just be cold. Do you see the difference?
It’s all about playing — leading and following, leading and following.
David Wygant has been helping men and women achieve the happiness that they desire in a relationship feel free to check out his book Date To Win
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